2010 in Updates – Autumn

July
has dry eyes from the air conditioning
is still having air conditioning problems made worse by rubbish Indian food and made better by the TAS
has just celebrated my first independence day – it feels kind of wrong with me being English and all
has lost her purse and is really pissed off
is swearing at the ridiculous Atlanta local news. Time to leave
has purchased an unholy amount of m&m’s to take home
has had a really lazy day and finished all my books. Looks like a trip to the bookshop before I fly home
is missing my Pumba!
is watching the TAS Wii-fit and planning banh mi for lunch
wants something sweet – donuts maybe?
has changed plans
has internet issues again. Maybe I’ll play some soul caliber instead
is not stupid – no matter what some people think
has been problem solving all afternoon – i may have found some solutions
the thunder rolls and the lightning strikes
Is it just me or does orange juice taste funny without vodka?
shared her solution and it’s working YAAAYYY!
is thinking about dinner
is cooking chicken stuffed with garlic mushrooms.
feels that pre-watershed Six feet under is missing something
is finally watching the half blood prince
has a thrilling day of housework lined up
is going to leave the house soon – brave i know
is having an amazing conversation with her hetero life mate
will not tolerate “cheating like motherfuckers” from SRC
is slowly starting to refollow all my unfollows caused by the world cup
is doing laundry again. It feels like it never ends
doesn’t mind a bit of footy but the wall-to-wall during the world cup just makes me go a little bit crazy
is busy mopping up the mess caused by the dishwasher flooding the kitchen
is watching beaches and preparing to bawl her eyes out
can fly higher than an eagle, cause you are the wind beneath my wings *breaks down sobbing at beaches* *AGAIN*
waited for you by the fountain down the road throughout 2000, but you were busy with your pop career
is being rained on again – the whole day is just different types of wetness conspiring against me
According to the anti-piracy ads “Copying DVDs is stealing” By that logic, would taking a photo not be kidnapping?
The average person tells 4 lies a day, and the most common lie is: “I’m fine.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity and I’m not sure about the former.
thinks she’s overdone the milk again
if i had a pound for every time SRC got lax with the rules then i would never have to work again
and then my donkey fell down your waffle-hole
is keeping an eye on the dishwasher – don’t want a repeat of last weeks flooded kitchen
dishwasher didn’t flood but it’s not properly empty either
is going survey crazy
you have saved our lives! We are eternally grateful!
loves howls moving castle
can’t sleep because she is seriously pissed off
ALWAYS feels loved – even when she’s stressy about things
is having one of those pointlessly, constantly crying days
feels more up now she’s not crying
has a fixed dishwasher and the vent in my bedroom is not rattling any more – tiny pleasures
You say Hakuna Matato, I say Hakuna Matata.
has been thinking things over and being loved is definitely the most important thing
has managed to muck up her bikini line. Now I feel like a freak
Is there an app for removing the still beating heart of annoying, whining colleagues? If so, sign me up!
is watching cop out
Every man is afraid of something. That’s how you know he’s in love with you; when he is afraid of losing you.
Science? Religion? I’m listening to the guy with the lens in a tube rather than the guy with the corpse on a stick
is not short I’m fun-sized
wishes someone would tell Nick Griffin that Britain is like Buckingham Palace. Nobody wants him in it. Even just for the afternoon
doesn’t have a drinking problem I’m just REALLY thirsty
Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them more
cheese and biscuits should be the official snack food of EVERYTHING
is not a bitch I just have a low tolerance for bullshit
is making pathetic whining noises about myspace messing about AGAIN
All the call centre work in Britain is being outsourced to India. Bloody foreigners – staying over there, taking our jobs.
is attempting trivial pursuit by Skype – not sure how well it’s working
is not liking triv by Skype I’m losing
has gone from losing to being a Skype triv winner
prays for wisdom to understand him; love to forgive him and patience for his moods coz if i pray for strength I’ll just beat him to death
is going out for Dim Sum – steamed buns here I come
A true relationship is with someone who’ll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn’t have had if you’d stayed single.
Respect is not demanded and taken; it is earned and given
would be more optimistic if I thought it would help.
you really shouldn’t mumble, because I can’t understand a word you’re saying
Respect – you’ll get it when you earn it
does very bad things and I do them very well
Heaven doesn’t want me and Hell is afraid I’ll take over
loves Hotel Chocolat especially the salted and butter caramels
is adorkable
good girls are bad girls who haven’t been caught yet
knows you’re stupid but do you have to be that damn stupid
Hard work never killed anyone. But why take the chance?
The world is love. Surely one fearless kiss would cure the million fevers
A wise woman knows her limits. A great one knows she has none
is on a very tight schedule of not getting anything done
Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you are finished.
is smiling because i have NO idea what is going on
thinks it’s amazing that four of the greatest artists of all time were named after the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
is wondering what to have for dinner. Maybe inspiration will strike soon
is skyping the TAS. Unsurprisingly we’re talking about food again
Had Korean Seafood Pancake & Fried Octopus Noodles 4 dinner last night Not my choice – was horrid
wants to be in bed and snuggly. But I’m not
wishes I had personal style. No, actually. I wish I had money so I could buy nice clothes.

August
some people turn to God. Me, I turn to vodka. I don’t see the difference; I’m still guided by a spirit.
Which is worse: Ignorance or apathy? Who knows? Who cares?
It is only with the hear tone can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the naked eye
is a straight person that supports same-sex marriage. People shouldn’t be told they can’t love someone because of gender. Love is love.
is discovering her fate today
‘s fate has been sealed. it went exactly as expected so why couldn’t it have taken less than 4 1/2 months?
Princess bride is so great, and I’ve left my copy in Atlanta *sadness*
really hates sandals and flip flops. If God had wanted us to expose our feet he would have made them more appealing and less ugly.
Spiderman: Just another guy who ends up with sticky hands after using the web.
it’s always wine o clock somewhere…
should probably get up and find out what’s happening with SRC
An Education isn’t everything – for a start it isn’t an elephant
thinks I’m one of the last rats to leave to good ship Myspace
You are not an adult at all. You are just a tall child holding a beer
is trying to decide…. housework or snooze?
did snooze. I have just awoken and am now thinking about food.
is still trying to talk to her sister
has told her sister and so can now break the news more widely…
Chocolate is a vegetable, it comes from a plant.
will not condone a course of action that will lead us to war
Now Duel of the Fates (dialogue version) has finished I’m off to get a new phone
has got a new phone. Please message me with your number and I’ll give you my new one
Sometimes you cannot beat a quick blast of Billy Ocean’s “Red Light Spells Danger”
is compulsive but also indecisive. I don’t know what I want but I know I want it now.
my new phone is angry with me and wants a puk code
sic gorgiamus allos subjectos nunc
is hanging out with Rob who has offered me a lift tomorrow. He’s SO lovely
is about to leave the house to do some jobs
is going to have a little snooze because I only got 3 hours of sleep last night. I miss my TAS
Just watched Avatar on DVD. Lack of 3d means it’s not as pretty and therefore the story seems even more pants
is putting the pile of clothes in the corner back in the wardrobe
In space no one can hear you scream
There is nothing nicer than a good earbudding
Well the TAS is 3300 miles away. I need to get my kicks somehow and earbudding is SO good
The only thing stopping me today is my lethargy, genetics, income, time I was born and crippling depression.
You shouldn’t really give people wine, if you can’t afford to give out nice wine. Nothing worse than a glass of mouth acid.
Yum yum minced beef crispy pancakes.
Life is sad. Life is a bust. All ya can do is do what you must You do what you must do and ya do it well
is looking for the least possible amount of responsibility
Has finally connected my phone to twitter
can’t have a bath – no hot water
So, when the fuck exactly does “old enough to know better” start?
had another snoozy snuggly night with the TAS across 3300 miles via skype
has woken up after a snooze. Now I am all dazed and confused
has the hiccups. Does that count as exercise?
STEP ONE! We can have lots of fun. STEP TWO! There’s so much we can do
will not use a ruler from someone else to measure myself
What is a zebra? 25 sizes larger than an ‘A’ bra.
Facebook keeps recommending Michael Jackson fan pages to me. Did I accidentally become a fan of dead mental paedophiles or something?
is sending my cheesecake out into the world today
is home with a new ipod cable and my poxy phone is wanting the f***ing puk code again orange is starting to piss me off
blah blah…fail whale…followers….not following….silly twitter. Has that covered it?
loves Steps and is dancing round while I’m supposed to be packing
is leaving the house. I will get my phone sorted before I get on the train to Lancaster. Then I plan some cheeky mojitos with bob
Is on the train back to Manchester. Outside is lovely. Inside is noisy and cold
Has discovered the reason for the noise – obnoxious hen party. Only an hour to go. *sighs*
is home and ready for bed already
plans have changed instead of going to bed and watching my twitter feed. i am going to be led astray by The Moog instead
is trying to work up the energy to go to the co-op
I don’t want to be treated as your equal… I want to be treated a lot better than you!
has sent the TAS on a triple B mission. I’m even bossy across 4100 miles
Nothing is quite so annoying as to have someone go right on talking when you’re interrupting.
cannot put it off any longer. I need an opticians appointment
the fact i have been unable to see for the last 2 months has inspired the pressing need for new glasses
“Easy as pie” – Pie is quite difficult though. Pastry alone takes mastery. I nominate “Easy as toast” as replacement.
is so tired. Feel totally drained and I have got nothing done today
has just woken up and I feel terrible. I think I have a kidney infection.
feels like I’ve been kicked in the back. I’m drinking cranberry juice & raspberry tea & hoping i can get a doctors appt tomorrow
Have seen gp who confirmed infection. I have scrip and am waiting for the Moog to take me home.
Is indifferent to jazz but would crawl across broken glass for good sushi
didn’t mean to scare you. I just think you are interesting
Creationists. Consistently putting the “mental” into fundamentalist.
First they’re all, ‘Oh, recycle this and recycle that’. Then the police is all, ‘Hey lady, you can’t put that cat in the bin.’
Short girls are the best
is pissed off with passive aggressive people
The drunker women get the more they want to sing songs from the 80’s.
Some of you are coming dangerously close to being unfollowed for Big Brother tweets.
It’s like god is looking right at you, just for a second, and if you are careful you can look right back
is still achey and feverish but is feeling human again
Isn’t it fun the way our bodies fit together, like little fuck puzzles?
Just because there are rules – it doesn’t mean the game is fair
Time for the compulsory ‘on the bus’ tweet. Ticket machine is broken so free bus ride.
is looking at the rain and hoping the weather clears up for the Pride parade
is home with my new glasses
Hate is baggage and life is too short to be pissed off all the time
HOW can Scotland Yard “refuse” to categorise the spy-death as murder? HE WAS FOUND STUFFED IN A HOLDALL. No-one has EVER “slipped” that much
There are six billion people in the world, but I want YOU.
There is clearly something wrong with this combination – Manchester, Bank Holiday Monday and no rain.
Better wait a minute, you better hold the phone, Better mind your manners, Better change your tone Don’t you threaten me, son
Eskewed beef! Have anybody got any bockle ourange joof?
just watched all of series 2 of the League of Gentlemen with The Moog. I haven’t laughed so hard in ages
Facebook is down. Why are you people complaining? You’re on twitter, you’re too cool for facebook, right?
Why must I be surrounded by frickin idiots
Quite a lot of Americans believe Obama is a kind of evil, gay, foreign, muslim ghost-zombie. Who wants to eat your children’s souls.

September
you can’t find the right person unless you let go of the wrong one.
home schooling? – it’s not just for scary religious people anymore
Throw me a frickin bone. I’m the boss. Need the info
hates you. I wish I’d never been artificially created in a lab
Scientologists, if you want to make it more believable, add a giant, talking snake and a virgin who has babies.
Just had a horrid child sit next to me on the bus. Her hair was crawling with lice. I feel itchy and unclean.
had a great time at spank-a-bull fetish night
has one simple request and that is to have sharks with frickin laser beams attached to their heads
interview has been postponed until Monday – which means I can get The Moog to finally fix my desk
has turned the moon into what I like to call a “Death Star”
is going offline – radical I know – but I need to move my computer to my new desk space
is back online with new desk area to save my creaky old body from trying to use my PC while in bed
is quasi-evil. Semi evil. The margarine of evil. The diet coke of evil – just one calorie, not evil enough
Is spending Friday night being led astray by one third of SRC – we wish the other third was here too. But we’ll see her on Tuesday
has just watched the amazing Tim Minchin on Channel 4. Brilliant!
Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? I always ask that of all my prey. I just like the sound of it
had loads of sleep last night and now I feel all fired up to…do something?!?…
has been to the shop and prepared Dinner. now I’m waiting for the TAS to be online before he goes off to his Labor Day BBQ
The owl and the pussycat went to sea in a beautiful peagreen boat They took some honey and plenty of money wrapped up in a five-pound note.
my iPod has finally bitten the dust. RIP iPod mini
thinks my first generation ipod mini did well to last 6 years. Now I just need to find the money in my budget to replace
Blood is thicker than water – maple syrup is thicker than blood – So, pancakes are more important than family.
is finally leaving the house for my doubly postponed interview
can never tell how I’ve done at interviews. so fingers crossed. I get some good news
has no idea how the interview went. I was just very aware of my crazy windswept hair
has just been offered the job she interviewed for this afternoon
is hoping a bit of working for a living will help me with my twitter addiction
has finally seen the season finale of Doctor who. Loved it. Can’t wait till Christmas
was at a Chinese wedding in New York when it first aired and by the time I got home it had gone from iPlayer
has been dead once already. It’s very liberating. You should think of it as therapy
There’s something out there in the darkness. Something terrifying. Something that will not stop until it gets revenge…ME!
runs around town like a fool and she thinks that it’s groovy
has been offered more work for tomorrow and Thursday and we’ve had to postpone tomorrows SRC
is enjoying the flurry of cow jokes
Sun can shine or the rain can fall doesn’t really matter at all if its cold or hot its a beautiful day its sure to be good if the kids are OK
is off to work. See you on the other side
is home from work. I bloody hate working for a living
has had her noodle stirred and is thinking too much. I think I’m still too angry to follow this particular piece of advice
Obviously as I didn’t have to get up this morning I was awake at the crack of dawn
WHY is anyone even giving Terry Jones airtime? Him burning the Koran isnt going to cause problems; it’s the media covering it 24/7 that will
Had a quick word with the guys upstairs about Pastor Terry Jones. “We said nothing to that fucking nutjob” is the official line.
has been rubbish and not managed to sort anything out. Awake at the crack of dawn but snoozing again by mid morning
Life is short and pain is long and we were all put on this earth to help each other
is feeling rather fragile after a very giggly, very late SRC
just kicked up a fuss in WHSmiths. They are advertising an offer of 3 for 2 on all fiction books but the Bible wasn’t included! Lies!
History is just one fucking thing after another
It’s not who you are underneath it’s what you do that defines you
has ‘bad romance’ stuck in her head
is (like the rest of the bus) listening to a very angry girl deliver a series of ultimatums to her boyf by phone.
is not sure which is worse – being poor or working for a living
is freezing cold and can’t wait for the heating to be fixed
has as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.
How the fuck would the Pope know if atheism is like Nazism? He’s only tried the one!
loves bookmarks. They’re my favourites.
likes Chinese. They come from a long way overseas, but they’re cute and they’re cuddly, and they’re ready to please
has been a bit slack on the blog front of late but I will post soon as you’ve inspired me with your kind words
hurt my back yesterday and so was riding the codeine bus and unable to remember my own name
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
had a great time at the Birmingham Bizarre Bazaar
Has remembered that she’s standing on a planet that’s evolving and revolving at 900 miles an hour.
prays that there is intelligent life somewhere up in space – because there’s bugger all down here on earth
you know how it is: it’s late at night, you’re out looking for kicks and somebody starts passing out the weaponised hallucinogens
is missing her TAS
Buffy season six is rubbish. Though not as bad as season 5
You’re just jealous because I’m a genuine freak and you have to wear a mask
would not give you false hope on this strange and mournful day
is crazy busy I’ve started a job with a long commute so not much time for tweeting but I’m keeping up with my faves
Machine gun jubblies – how did I miss those?
thinks my bum found your lost 5 pounds – do you want them back?
Is English and lives in Manchester – TAS is American and lives in Atlanta. 4100 miles puts a bit of a crimp on your love life!
I am Catwoman. Hear me roar!
is pissed off that Tescos had no goats yoghurt
is updating her status.
tried to buy a copy of Fight Club today but they wouldn’t sell it to me because I broke the first 2 rules!!
is making lamb and vegetable soup with dumplings as I have been unable to get any goats yoghurt – no curry. *sadness*
really doesn’t want to get out of bed this morning
has a toasty warm house and is planning a bubble bath
Wouldn’t feel like a working day if you didn’t wake up moaning that you were tired and asking if you could go back to bed.
can’t do this by myself All of these problems, they’re all in your head and I can’t be somebody else you took something perfect and painted it red
has never wanted to be in Atlanta more than I do right at this second
It’s BBC Radio One’s birthday! Lets celebrate by playing some hideous noise, regularly interrupted by various gonks with regional accents.
has just seen Audrey from Coronation Street at Lowry plaza

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